BREAKING: Brangelina A Major Disappointment to Voyeurs Everywhere

In an outrageous show of absolutely nothing at all, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (above, in a still from 2005's Mr. and Mrs. Smith) failed to get married this weekend, dashing the hopes of an entire town of obsessive Italians, not to mention the world. After much speculation that the famous couple would wed at pal George Clooney's nearby villa, residents of Cernobbio (henceforth referred to as Nobs) waited fruitlessly for for two days for the pair to arrive. Finally, they packed up their folding chairs and hugely inflated senses of entitlement and went home. The mood was grim as residents expressed outrage at being denied their dog and pony show. "We are at the end of our rope," said Giuseppe Salvioni, mayor of the town and spokesman for all Nobs.

Full Story at: BBC News